


Behind Your Eyes...

by AllHallowsEve



Series: Wincest Colored Glasses [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Desire, Episode: s01e06 Skin, Fear, Fighting, Hurt feelings, Lust, M/M, Pre-Slash, Self Loathing, So much angst, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 16:48:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14815148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHallowsEve/pseuds/AllHallowsEve
Summary: The boys tangle with their first shapeshifter.  Dean is framed for murder and dies in the process, or so it seems.Episode 6 as seen through Wincest colored glasses.





	Behind Your Eyes...

**Author's Note:**

> Man oh man the boys took me for a wild ride this time. This is the longest one of the series so far and I am emotionally exhausted.
> 
> As always this is unbeta'd so please let me know of any glaring mistakes so that I can fix them and make it better for everyone. This one feels like it might actually have some so if that is true I apologize in advance.
> 
> For some reason I was desperately in a hurry to get this one up on here, so if it is heinously filled with errors or hard to read, I apologize now.

Dean eased Baby into the gas station.  As he turned off the engine he explained where they were headed and their timeframe to his little brother, but Sam’s head was down and he gave no response.  He had been staring at his phone for the better part of ten minutes now and it was grinding on Dean’s nerves.

Dean ended his sentence with “Sam wears women’s underwear.”

Sam replied then, “I’ve been listening, I’m just busy.”

When he found out Sam was reading emails from his friends from Stanford, that he evidently had been keeping in touch with them this entire time unbeknownst to Dean, it hurt.  It was like a stab in the gut.

Dean tried to play it off as mere curiosity and confusion about how Sam managed to keep those friends, having to lie to them about what he was doing now, and how those lies could be okay for Sam.  Asking him what he even had to talk to them about now, and wondering how he explained where he’d been all this time.

Dean wasn’t sure why Sam’s reading his emails from his college friends ground against his skin like gravel but it did.

He was sure it wasn’t jealousy.  Dean was too cool for that kind of behavior. _Right?_

Dean tried to justify to Sam his belief that you can’t get close to people in a job like this, it just makes your interactions with them full of lies, so it is easier to just cut everyone out who doesn’t know about the life.

Sam wasn’t having any of it. He believed he could just leave certain aspects out of his correspondence and still maintain his friendships.  He secretly knew he would eventually have to go back to school when they had tracked their dad down and killed the thing that had taken Jess and their mom.  He couldn’t live this life forever.  Not when every day that passed made it harder and harder for him to control his need for Dean.

He was waking up more and more with hard ons, or even worse, having come in his sleep messily like a 12 year old boy.  Being this close to Dean all the time, getting to smell him at night in the next bed over, seeing him walk out of the bathroom fresh from the shower in nothing more than a towel, it was becoming painful to the extreme.  He knew he couldn’t maintain this for the rest of his life. 

Keeping his friendships with the people at Stanford was vital to his belief he could escape this eventually and get back to a safe place where he could long for his brother from a safe distance.

Sam’s need to stay connected to his life at Stanford was intruding on Dean’s new life with Sam.  He didn’t want Sam to decide to go back to school.  _There it was._   That was why Sam pouring through emails was stomping his nerves.

He was deathly afraid that every day he woke up with Sam in the opposite bed, or already up getting coffee, might be their last one together.  Sam hearing from his friends made that possibility more tangible.  Some days he believed the only thing keeping Sam here was the search for Jess’s killer. 

If they found it and killed it, then what?  Would Sam leave again?  If he stayed in contact with his friends, then the answer was most likely yes.

The problem became even worse when Sam read an email from Rebecca Warren, a friend of his who said her brother Zach had been arrested for murder for killing his girlfriend.  Sam insisted they had to go help.  Dean tried to convince Sam it wasn’t their kind of problem but Sam would not take no for an answer.

Dean’s face pleaded with Sam in disbelief.  St. Louis was 400 miles back in the opposite direction from which they had just come.  When Sam turned on his I am not budging face, Dean’s temper got the best of him.  He paid for the gas, jumped back in the car, and spun Baby’s tires, throwing gravel everywhere as he whipped out of the gas station, running a stop sign in the process.

Dean was pissed, and hurt, and scared of losing Sam, none of which he could share with his little brother.  The problem was, Dean also understood Sam.  Sam had lost so much already, the last thing he needed was to not help a friend in need.  Dean tried to calm himself down, aiming the car towards Missouri with a huff.

The road was long and uneventful and Dean went from trying to be understanding for Sam, to being jealous that Sam was wanting to help his friends, to frustrated and berating himself for being a selfish brother and back again.  The various emotions churned round and around in his head.  He turned up Led Zepplin but it failed to ease his mood.

He wasn’t sure he was relieved just to be getting it over with, once they pulled up in front of the house where Sam instructed him to go, or more worried at what would happen.

But hearing Sam banter happily with the pretty blond young woman who answered the door did nothing to improve his unease.  Neither did his brother’s failing to even introduce him.  He didn’t even get the beer that Rebecca offered, thanks to Sam’s refusal. _Could this day get any worse?_

Unfortunately it did when Sam threw Dean under the bus saying he was a cop and could help Becky’s brother by taking a look at the crime scene.

Sam just didn’t get why Dean was being so hard headed about this case.  These were Sam’s friends, if for no other reason than that, he thought Dean would understand.  And the fact that his friend Zach was supposedly at two places at once, that sounded definitely like this case was right up their alley.  But it was like Dean was determined to not see it.

He hoped that seeing the actual crime scene would change Dean’s mind somehow.  He needed his help and support if he was going to find a way to save his friend.

The crime scene really didn’t lead to much, other than the dog outside that was barking and growling like crazy.  Becky said that its entire personality had changed right around the time of the murder.  That felt like it pointed to something but they weren’t really sure what.

The only real clue came when Becky admitted that she had stolen a copy of the security tape, supposedly showing Zach going in to kill his girlfriend, at the same time he was actually drinking beers with Becky.

When the boys watched it, Sam caught the first major clue to what they might be dealing with.  The person walking in to the apartment had glowing eyes, or the light strangely reflected off them somehow.  Sam couldn’t be sure, he just knew it was something abnormal.

The next morning Sam dragged Dean back to the crime scene at 5:30am.  Dean was doing nothing but complaining about the hour.  That was, until Sam found proof that the killer had actually escaped out the back of the apartment as shown by the bloody hand print left outside in the alley.

An ambulance drove by and they went to check out what happened.  Dean finally got on board with this being their kind of problem, once he talked to the patrolman who was first on the scene to the new attempted murder that sounded eerily like the one Zach was accused of.

It happened just a few blocks from the original crime scene and the supposed bad guy this time said he actually saw a double of himself in his house that attacked him, leaving him to take the rap for it.  Of course the cops thought he was nuts.  But it proved to Dean that they were actually on a case.

After some discussion, the boys came to the conclusion that what they were looking for must be some kind of shapeshifting creature.  They also realized that the thing was using the sewer system underground to get around.  They went to investigate and found some left behind skin, as if the monster was shedding when it changed shape.

They went back to the car to gear up.  Dean knew for sure, that no matter what kind of shape shifter they might be dealing with, their dad always said that a silver bullet to the heart was the sure fire way to kill it dead. 

While Sam was waiting he got a call from Becky.  She was livid.  She had told her attorneys that they had gone to the crime scene with a cop. They, of course, had checked Dean out and had found out he wasn’t a cop.  She told Sam not to help anymore, that they might have actually just ruined Zach’s case.

Sam felt awful. 

Dean came over and said “I hate to say it, but that is exactly what I’m talking about.”  He took a heavy breath and continued, “You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. It’d be easier if,”

But before he could finish Sam said “If I was like you.”

He ended it with a sigh, and the tone of his voice was so dejected it hurt Dean to hear it.  But he knew he was right. 

He smiled as he said “Hey, man, like it or not, we are not like other people.”

Sam didn’t want to admit that Dean was right.  He had fought for so long to be normal, and all this just proved that he wasn’t.  His heart was heavy as they went back down into the sewer. Sam thought to himself, _Dean has no idea just how ‘not like other people’ I am_.  His shoulders slouched dejectedly.

Sam had gotten what he had wanted, Dean was fully committed to this case, but the cost was his friendship with Becky and probably Zach too.  Even if they found and killed this thing and kept Zach out of prison, the friendships were ruined. 

He hated that Dean was right.  But it would be too hard to maintain the friends he had made while being a hunter.  Even if he thought of this life as only temporary until he could escape it again, he wasn’t sure his heart would let him, now that he was so close to Dean. The exact thing that made him know he should run away from Dean was the very thing that might not let him do it.

The thoughts of his feelings for Dean filled his mind as he followed along the tunnels behind him. He was trying to keep focused, but it was hard. They found its lair and a pile of slick disgusting skins left behind and they were both so distracted by the repulsive nature of it that they didn’t hear it sneak up behind Dean.

Sam swung his flashlight to look at Dean and the glare of it caught the shapeshifter right in the face, allowing Sam to see the reflective unnatural quality of its unusual eyes.  He yelled for Dean to watch out but everything happened too fast. The monster hit Dean, knocking him into a pipe.  Sam tried to shoot it but couldn’t get a clear hit with all the pipes and chains running through the tunnels.

Dean grunted in pain as he attempted to stand.  Sam’s full attention was on the fact that his brother was hurt and he didn’t even think to run after the thing until Dean yelled “Get the son of a bitch!” in frustration.

The brothers split up when there was no sign of it, after they found where it had climbed out of the tunnel, through a park.  They met up later and headed back to the car, neither of them having found any trace of it.

The hair on the back of Sam’s neck rose when Dean asked, “You got the keys?” He wasn’t sure why, but he felt sure something was off.

So he asked about a shapeshifter Dad had fought in San Antonio, but Dean rightly remembered that it was Austin instead, plus knowing it had turned out to not be a shape shifter anyway. 

He said all the right things, but Sam’s gut told him it wasn’t Dean. He threw the man standing at the back of the car, who looked and sounded all the world like Dean, the keys to the Impala but the guy caught the keys with his left hand.  His arm moved fine, not wounded and impaired the way Dean’s had been, from the injury in the tunnel.

While the guy was busy looking in the trunk, Sam snuck around the other side of the car and drew his gun on him.  The shapeshifter was just as cocky, just as in your face, as Dean always was.  It sounded exactly like Sam’s brother.

Sam knew that he should shoot him in the heart, knew it with every fiber of his being, but he found he couldn’t do it.  The thing wearing Dean’s face taunted him with the fact that he just wasn’t sure, and Sam knew the thing was right.  He couldn’t take the chance if there was even the most remote possibility he was wrong. A shot to the heart wouldn’t just kill the shapeshifter, it would decidedly kill Dean as well, if his instincts were wrong.

Sam never saw the tire iron coming, the shapeshifter was too fast.  The man, who looked like the brother Sam desperately loved, knocked him out cold.

Sam woke tied tightly to a series of pipe work that dripped cold substances down his back.  Before he even had a chance to speak, the shapeshifter still wearing his brother’s visage walked over to him and backhanded him across the face.

Sam was desperate.  This thing had done something with Dean.  He was wearing Dean’s clothes, but he also wore the amulet that Dean never took from around his neck.  That more than anything scared the crap out of Sam. 

Sam’s first words were “Where is he? Where’s Dean?”

Once the shapeshifter finally answered him, his fears turned to something else entirely.  The shapeshifter taunted him, saying he didn’t really want to know where Dean was, that he should be worried about himself instead.

Sam glared at the thing defiantly.

It said “I swear, the more I learn about you and your family…”  He walked away towards another area in the tunnel lit up and crowded with odds and ends the thing must have collected over who knows how long.

He continued with “I thought I came from a bad background.”

Sam asked in confusion, “What do you mean the more you learn?”

The thing put its hand to his head, his face squinted up as if it was in pain.

The thing paused for a second to catch his breath and then he turned towards Sam and with relish said, “He’s sure got issues with you.”

Sam’s stomach dropped.  His brow furrowed in confused concern.

The thing walked over to him bitterly saying “You got to go to college, he had to stay home.”

Then his face changed, morphed to look even more like Dean somehow with Dean’s own emotions flowing through it giving it more of a genuine quality.

His voice changed too, became more Deanlike.  “I mean I had to stay home with Dad.  You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?”

It took everything Sam had not to fold in the face of those hurtful words.  Sam held on to his love for Dean with everything he had.

He whispered at the monster, “Where is my brother?”

It bent down putting his face, Dean’s face, mere inches from Sam’s and said with conviction, “I’m your brother.”

He stared into Sam’s eyes, with the jade green eyes of Dean.  The eyes that had caused Sam to fear losing his soul if he stared too long into them, but never getting to enough for his own desires to be fulfilled.  He wished the monster would show him his own eyes and quit using Dean’s. 

Those beautiful eyes made it more painful, more believable as he said, “See deep down… I’m just jealous. You got friends, you could have a life. Me, I know I’m a freak.”

Those words broke through the last of Sam’s shielding.  To think even for a minute that it could be possible that Dean felt like a freak, his magnificent specimen of a brother, who was amazing at practically everything.  How could he possibly think of himself as a freak?

It wouldn’t stop its soliloquy.  “And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me.”

Sam was mortified by that.  His throat was dry, maybe from dehydration or maybe just from fear, but he managed with a rasp, “What are you talking about?”

The thing had walked away from Sam but it turned back as it said “You left.”

It was like a stab right into Sam’s heart. 

Then the pain continued to burn through his chest as the monster almost sobbed, “Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothing, just…” Dean’s lips blew out a breath and he spread his arms wide in exasperation.

The sadness that was there a moment before turned to disgust.  “Left me with your sorry ass.”

Dean’s eyes stared into Sam from across the room.  Sadness and pain flowed behind them.  The words the monster said, Sam was now sure, came from deep within the real Dean, but were words which he had never been able to utter himself.

The monster began to turn the screw in a different way.  “Dean would bang Becky if he had the chance.”

The information came with a smirk that was definitely all Dean, but the threat behind it was all monster, as he announced he was going to go find out what would happen if Dean was given the chance.

He left Sam there alone, under a tarp stewing in unhappiness.  He felt so hopeless.  He had no idea where Dean was, if he was even alive.  No, Sam couldn’t believe that, his brother couldn’t be dead.  Somewhere in the pit of his darker self, Sam churned over the fact that the monster said Dean would bang Becky.  Sam cursed at himself.  How could he be so caught up over something so unimportant at a time like this.  He huffed in frustration.

He had to do something.  He managed to worm his head out from under the canvas tarp but couldn’t seem to get any part of his body free from the ropes.  He cursed aloud in frustration.

Suddenly he heard a cough from a far corner of the room.  He looked around just as Dean’s voice called out, “That better be you, Sam, and not that freak of nature.”

Dean’s voice, his real voice.  Sam couldn’t remember a time his body flooded with such relief at that honey warmed smoky sound the way it did now.

Dean was alive, and not only that, he was here.  Sam could have cried he was so happy.

He informed Dean that the monster had gone to Becky’s disguised as Dean.

Dean must have been just as overjoyed to see Sam because the first thing he did was tease him because the monster chose the handsome one to shapeshift into.

Sam struggled to get out of his bonds.  Now that he knew Dean was safe, he could focus on worrying about Becky.  He explained what he had learned while they both struggled to get free.  Dean managed to get out first and as he did so Sam informed him that the monster didn’t just look like Dean, he was becoming Dean.  That he somehow was gaining Dean’s thoughts and memories.

Dean froze, halfway free from the ropes.  If the thing had his memories, did he know about his feelings for Sam?  His deeper messed up thoughts and feelings where his little brother was concerned? 

He got free and went over to Sam.  He had to believe the monster hadn’t come to those things yet, surely he would have told Sam that, to torture him with that horrible knowledge.  Maybe if there was some kind of psychic bond, between the monster and Dean, feeding it information, then they could kill it before he had a chance to gain all those thoughts Dean desperately needed to keep to himself.

Sam called the police and before the boys could get anywhere they saw Dean’s photo plastered on every TV in a local electronics store window.  The report said he was wanted for attempted murder, so Sam seemed relieved that Becky was safe.

Dean was happy for her, but it didn’t keep him from panicking.  It was surreal, but every moment the thing was still out there, was every moment his worst nightmare could come true.  Sam could find out that Dean was in love with him.  Find out he wanted to do so many things to him, that no brother should ever want to do with his own little brother.

Dean tried to convince Sam they had to go after it.  That they had to go back into the sewers and kill it.  Sam tried to speak reason to him, they had no weapons, they would be defenseless against it if they went after it now. 

Dean couldn’t explain his impatience to Sam.  He tried to blow it off as if it was because the thing was wearing his face. Dean’s nerves were ramping up into almost hysterics and then he remembered the car.  The thing had stolen everything from them, even the Impala.

The report had said that the guy ‘ran off on foot’ so the car must be back at Rebecca’s.   They just had to find it and the trunk would hopefully still be full of weapons they could use to go after that son of a bitch.

They made the best time they could on foot and finally found Baby.  But before they could make it to her, the police showed up.  Sam stayed behind so that Dean could get away, with a plan to meet up again at Rebecca’s, once the coast was clear.

Sam knew Dean all too well, with his jump first way of doing things.  As Dean went over a fence to freedom, Sam yelled out, “Stay out of the sewers alone, I mean it!!”

Dean hated to not wait for Sam, he knew his brother would be upset with him, but better that, than hate him, if the monster got a chance to tell Sam all the twisted up truths boiling around in Dean’s mind.

Instead of finding the monster though, Dean found Rebecca, bound and covered with a tarp, in the sewer.  She had seen the monster turn from him to her at least, causing her to be a true believer now.  Once that fact set in though, Dean’s legs became so weak with fear that he could barely stand.  Sam had gone to Rebecca’s.  He could be alone with the monster right now and not even know it.

Dean could only hope that the monster would stay in Rebecca’s shape, maybe that way it wouldn’t tell Sam any of his feelings before it was too late.  Dean pushed Baby as hard as he dared to get to Sam, but with all the police out still looking for him, he had to go much slower than his madly thumping heart was comfortable with.

Sam woke once again to having been knocked out and tied up by the monster.  It was once again in his brother’s form.  He was getting really tired of this asshole.  Instead of killing Sam quickly as Sam would have expected the monster to do, he talked to him.  It was like he was enjoying tormenting Sam, but also loved listening to his own voice.  Sam could barely contain a chuckle as he wondered if that was the monster or the Dean part of this twosome.

The Dean/monster poured himself a drink and the tone of what the monster was saying started to change.  It got deeper, almost having a seductive quality when he said, “You should appreciate him more than you do.”

It made a chill go up Sam’s spine.  He was lying prone on the floor where the monster had placed him gently down for some reason.  It was like he was taking care of Sam in some ways, in spite of his threat that he was going to murder his own brother.  He took out a knife, but instead of stabbing Sam with it, he just plunged it into the corner of the pool table, Sam was lying next to.

Sam watched in disbelief as the shapeshifter seemed to be having a hard time carrying out his plan to see Sam dead at Dean’s hands.

The monster began looking over Sam’s body as he lay in front of him.  His eyes, Dean’s eyes, roamed over Sam, beginning at his face but moving slowly, lower and lower over Sam’s chest and torso, stopping at his groin to examine appreciatively. 

Sam felt like throwing up.  His fantasies were coming true, fantasies of seeing Dean’s eyes wanting him, the way Sam had always dreamed he would someday, but it wasn’t Dean.  It was this monster.  Dean would never really look at Sam that way, Sam knew that in the bottom of his gut, but it didn’t stop the distraught sadness from overwhelming him from finally having those eyes look at him that way and it not be real.

He felt tears fall from his eyes and run down the sides of his cheeks as he watched Dean watching him.

“Oh Sammy, don’t cry.  I’m here, I’m going to take real good care of you, baby boy.” 

A hitched breath caught in Sam’s throat.  Sam couldn’t let this thing touch him, not that way.  In a frenzied reaction, Sam kicked out at the thing sending it flying across the room.  It gave him just enough time to reach out with his arms and wrap them around the knife, stuck in the table.  He managed to free his hands just briefly before the thing came at him again, only this time it wasn’t with desire in his eyes, but fury.

They fought round and round, in hand to hand combat, reminiscent of all the times they had trained together through their childhood.  Dean’s mouth formed, “Not bad little brother.”

But Sam growled angrily through gritted teeth, “You’re not him!”

They beat each other mercilessly, neither managing to get the upper hand for very long.

As the monster came at Sam with a pool cue he taunted “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass.”

It sounded so much like something Dean would say, Sam paused for a minute.  It gave the monster just enough of an edge that he pinned the larger man to the ground.  He began to choke the life out of Sam, who didn’t have enough fight left in him to break free.

As the world began to darken and go grey, Sam heard Dean, his Dean, from behind the shapeshifter, yell ,“Hey!”

Before the monster could utter another word, Dean shot it twice in the heart.

Dean went over to it, and grabbed the amulet, pulling it, from around what looked like his own neck, in contempt.

After the cops cleared out they went back to Rebecca’s to check on her and make sure she was okay.  It was surreal that everything was being blamed on Dean and that he was now officially dead.

Dean couldn’t help overhear Becky telling Sam that everyone at school missed him.  She lamented that it was sad no one really knew the truth about what he did.  Saying it must be lonely.  Sam denied it, but Dean feared that he actually felt it was true.  Dean was scared that being with Dean would never be enough for Sam.

Dean had watched Sam for any signs that the monster had spilled the beans in any way, but Sam didn’t seem to look at Dean any differently from how he ever had.

As they drove away Sam expressed suddenly that he thought the monster must have been bisexual.  That caught Dean off guard and made him almost lose his cool.

“Why would you say that?”  Dean tried for nonchalant but wasn’t sure he managed it.

“Well at one point I thought the monster was thinking about doing things to me.”  Sam blushed, “Sexual things.”

Dean stared out at the highway being eaten up by Baby’s tires.  He didn’t know what to say.  Nothing in what Sam said about it, made Dean know if he thought it had anything to do with the monster being Dean at the time.  His hands held onto the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

The idea of that monster raping Sam, he felt like turning the car around so he could go back and tear up the body.  He wished he hadn’t killed him so quickly, but had instead taken his time, ripping the horrible thing limb from limb.

He tried to calm himself.  This wasn’t about him, it was about Sam.  Plus he needed to get Sam off any thoughts that maybe the desire had come as a memory from Dean himself.

“I doubt it Sam, I mean none of the other people he killed had been sexually assaulted right?”

Sam thought about it for a minute.  “Maybe that was because they were women.”

“Maybe he wasn’t bi, maybe he was gay, and I was the first guy he had ever attacked so it didn’t seem like part of his original M.O.”  Sam swallowed hard.

“Maybe he hated women, that being why he killed them, and then he wanted men, but maybe we never found any of his male victims.”

Sam thought for a moment, maybe he should shut the hell up.  Maybe Dean would somehow think that he had wanted the monster in return, because it looked like Dean, maybe he was giving too much of himself away in this conversation.  He wasn’t even sure why he had brought this aspect of what happened up in the first place.  _Did he fucking want Dean to find out that he wanted him? Ugh_. Sometimes he couldn’t believe how stupid he could be.

He tried to keep all of what he was just feeling off his face.  He didn’t want Dean to pick up anything more than he maybe already had.

Butterflies attacked his stomach from out of nowhere when he glanced back over at Dean and realized Dean had been watching him.

“Who cares what that son of a bitch’s sexuality was, he’s dead, we are alive,” Dean turned on one of his million watt smiles and chuckled, “That’s all that matters right Sammy?”

Sam blew out a huff in relief as he laughed out his pat response, “It’s Sam.”

That reminded Dean of something he had been meaning to say to Sam ever since he had overheard that last conversation with Becky.  His smile drifted away as his face got more serious. 

“I’m sorry man.”

Sam could tell this had nothing to do with the difference of opinion about his name, so he looked back at Dean with concern.

“About what?”

“I really wish things could be different, you know?  I wish you could just be Joe College.”

“That’s okay.”  Sam took a deep breath and confess, “Truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.”

Dean almost yelled in joy from hearing that.  Maybe Sam wouldn’t end up leaving him after all.

Dean looked over at his little brother and deadpanned, “Well, that’s because you’re a freak.” He continued with almost too much enthusiasm, “But I’m a freak too.  I’m right there with you all the way.”

Sam laughed and said “Yeah, I know you are.”

It had been a harrowing experience.  Each brother had feared the other one would find out their most hidden secret. Neither comprehending how much they weren’t alone in it.  But somehow sharing the idea of being ‘freaks’ together, made the pain and loneliness of their longing for each other more bearable for them both.

Baby’s loud engine lulled them both into a calmer state as they headed off down the road.

**Author's Note:**

> This one was so hard for me for some reason. So hard it gave me a headache. The heavy emotions and fear involved from both boys seemed cranked up. This episode has always been hard for me, even before I fell into the pit of despair of angsty goodness that is my beloved Wincest. So to put that added set of angry bees into it was hard for me this time around.
> 
> I felt it necessary to include many more actual quotes from the episode this time so I hope that wasn't too distracting. The dialog was just such a perfect diving board from which Wincest could spring that I had to include it.
> 
> I should have edited it one more time, but I just needed to get it out and up. It was too heavy for me to carry alone.
> 
> I might go back tomorrow and read it over one more time, editing any horrible things I find, but hopefully it wasn't too hard for any of you to read!
> 
> In spite of how drained I am right now I am loving this experience!! And having you all here with me and supporting me along the way is just magical. I can't thank you enough for the kudos and comments!!


End file.
